new times

i was introduced to the world of serious blogging last semester in my communciations course. however, now that i have much time on my hands (cuz exams are finally here and i need something to do other than studying ofcourse...) ive decided to take up blogging again. i didnt realli enjoy it before because i was being graded on it and i had to follow certain topics and such, however, hopefully this will be a new start of new times and better topics - inshAllah (God willing).
salam for now
s.a.m.

"knock knock"
"who's there?"
"salesman"
"salesman who?"
"salesman who's here to sell you a totally useless item!"

Okay so you might not be persuaded to open the door by that, but you might still open the door and see if that item is totally useless or not. I mean who's he to decide that it's a totally useless item? You must investigate it yourself. Or maybe you didn't even ask who was at the door - maybe it's just me who still bothers to ask before opening the door to some stranger...
But the point is, you're suddenly standing infront of someone you've probably never seen before who has a big smile on their face and either a paper or some sort of box in their hands. For the sake of simplicity, let's call this person Bob.
So when you open the door they smile (they want to put you at ease), and say, "Hi, how are you doing today?" (they're taking control of the conversation).
Suddenly Bob realizes that you're holding a spatula and wearing an apron. He says, "I see you're doing some cooking today! Getting a head start on the holiday cooking now aren't we?" Notice that he didn't say Christmas cooking because the 'politically correct' term for the Christmas break is apprently 'the winter holidays.' After all, if it turns out that you don't celebrate Christmas, and he had said Christmas cooking instead it might turn out to be an awkward situation...and no salesman wants an awkward situation when they're trying to sell you something totally useless right?
Next, Bob relates your little cooking story to the splendid set of knives he's going to try to sell you. "Well I have just the thing here for you that will impress all of your guests and make cutting steak much much easier this season." So momentarily you forget the cake in the oven and think "Hey if it's going to impress AND function it might be worth it! I'm already spending a ridiculous amount on that new foot massager I might as well look into this..." Already, Bob has reeled you in. He has offered you a 'deal' and you didn't even know it. He cut straight to the point because Bob knows very well that nobody like bullshit around holiday times - that will come later when the bills start to show up.
So, let's review what Bob has done to get from being the salesman who's here to sell you a completely useless item to that charming young man trying to get me to buy a lovely set of 69 steak knives. Bob started out with the end in mind - to get you to buy the set. Then he set about doing this by indirectly forging a false relationship with you. He commented on your spatula and your apron and suddenly you're laughing away as if you've been buddies all along (assuming ofcourse that you didn't just burn dinner and that you're in a good mood. Then he got straight to the problem - you can never be too impressive at dinner and that steak is hard to cut. He didn't really put it that way but that's what he did. Then he suggessted a solution to your problem - his amazing knife set is here to personally save your entire life! If you had gone along with your "Let's see what he's talking about" thought, then you probably would have at least waited to see all of the features and maybe even got to try them out before you eventually either shut him out with a nice "I'm good thanks" or "I'll take it all!" In the latter case, it would have been Bob's charisma and competence that would have won you over.
Those two qualities as well as being able to adapt and bring in the situation around him to his benefit have just gotten him a sale - and a pretty good one too! A 69 piece steak knife set doesn't come cheap!
These were the qualities that Dr. Sévigny talked about in his lecture last Tuesday November 28th.
However, I was slightly surprised that we didn't discuss the issue of car salesmen...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URkx5YLRekg
maybe this will compensate :)

May all your salesmen this holiday season be nice and charming and have good timing!

Hearing

As Dr. Sévigny was telling us a little while ago, listening is not hearing. Listening means that you should actually be taking in the information and processing. Hearing is the actual sense that some of us have through our ears. I've posted about listening before, so I decided to look at hearing today.
A good example of hearing would be sitting in driving school and just keeping your eyes open enough to watch the teacher's lips move.
A good example of listening would be actively taking notes during your multimedia lecture because you just realized that the final exam is worth 40% of your final mark.
But what about this: you're sitting in the student centre having lunch and catching up on some philosophy reading when the gaggle of girls sitting next to you start talking about cute guys sitting around them/you pretty loudly. So it distracts you enough that you actually process what they are saying (and eventually look over to who they're talking about...), but you didn't actively sit next to them to listen to their conversation. Would that be hearing the people next to you talk, or would that be listening in on their conversation?
I always wonder, I mean a person can't live with their headphones on for the rest of their lives, although some people look like they do sometimes...
I can't really make up my mind about what it would be: hearing or listening?
What do you think?

Facial Expressions

On the McMaster campus, I sometimes find myself walking from class to class on my own, and I've noticed that although we only have about 5-10 mins to see other students before we get into class, there is so much that you can tell about someone by just looking at them while theyre also walking somewhere on their own. On more than one occasion I've caught several people mumbling to themselves, or smiling at something they remembered. But that's okay, because I've noticed that I do that too. No matter how much you say you do not talk to yourself, when your walking alone with no company you'll make up your own story to keep yourself company. come on...you know you talk to yourself...
The best thing is when you see someone you know walk by. So you say 'hi' and smile, and then when the passing by is done, you realize your suddenly still smiling, and the next person walking by catches that smile, and that person is probably thinking 'i dont even know you you freak.' And then you realize what you did so you quickly wipe that smile off your face, but by then it's too late, so you start to frown thinking 'o man that person probably thought i was a freak' but then now you're caught frowning at the next person walking by... it just goes on and on.
so the next time you see someone smiling to themselves or even mumbling to themselves, just think: how many times have i been caught doing that?

Also, if you want to catch some good expressions, check this baby out. Even though all he's doing is laughing/giggling away, you can see so many expressions pass through his eyes. at one time i swear i could see him thinking: my parents are crazy but ill laugh along anyways. Baby's have the best expressions because they havent exactly learned to hide them all away like we have...

http://soapbox.msn.com/video.aspx?vid=e566b2b8-fe4d-45b3-988f-ef4f998888f2
ps: if you dont have an account on msn soapbox, use this link: http://www.geekproject.com/ and scroll down a little bit to the 'William Laughing' clip.

(listen)

sometimes it's not just speech we need to listen to...

Interpersonal Relationships

There are very evident and distinct cultural differences when it comes to intimacy between people. For instance, in low-context cultures such as Canada and the US, it is fairly clear that personal space is very important. People are more individualistic and less ‘touchy’. However, in high-context cultures such as Mexico, two people could be standing within centimeters of each other on a bus and that would be normal.
Another issue I found to be fascinating within high-context cultures is their kissing habits. For example, in Egypt the norm for family and friends of the same sex is to kiss once on each cheek upon meeting. Same sex friends even go out holding hands in public and no questions are raised. In Kuwait, men usually kiss three times on the right cheek. In France, a man and woman being introduced for the first time usually go for a kiss on the cheek; however, there are places in France that go for up to four kisses, two on each cheek alternating. This might seem peculiar for people raised in Canada without a high-context culture in their backgrounds. However, as someone who was raised in the Middle East for the first part of their life and then Canada for the second part, it is very interesting to study the different forms of physical and emotional intimacy between humans.
In the same way, studying how the notion of intimacy has changed throughout the ages is very important since it gives us a new perspective on life. The seventeenth century saw a formal kind of intimacy even between spouses (Adler 2006) and the nineteenth century saw the romantic period flourish (Adler 2006). I believe that to some extent the twenty-first century in North America has somewhat returned to the formal model of the seventeenth century (Adler 2006), with relationships occurring mostly on a surface base. However, I agree with Dr. Sevigny’s (lecture on Tuesday October 31st) and have hope that once attained, true physical and emotional intimacy is easier to maintain. Understanding the changing concept of intimacy can help show us that notions we take for granted are not universal and are often shaped by economic and social conditions (Adler 2006).

Works Cited

Adler, Ronald B. and George Rodman. Understanding Human Communication. New York: Oxford University Press, 2006.

The Mentality of Crowds and Hitler.

In Gustav LeBon’s article on the mentalities present in crowds, he mentions the difference between the ordinary sense of a crowd – a gathering of individuals – and the psychological point of view of a crowd – "an agglomeration of men [that] presents new characteristics very different from those of the individuals composing it" (Sévigny 2006).

There is an almost similar article as to what we have read however it has some more details at http://spartan.ac.brocku.ca/~lward/LeBon/LeBon_1895/LeBon_1895_00.html. There you actually take a look at the entire book that LeBon devoted to his study of crowds. It has been said that Hitler read this book and many of us can guess what he used LeBon’s ideas for.

This video is from a movie portraying Hitler’s rise to power. In this clip it is evident how individually the left side of the audience disagreed with what Hitler was saying, however, when something such as an anthem – which to many brings to mind images of flags, of heroism, and of cultural identity – was sung, they all began to sing along. Even though it took some time, especially for the chancellor, everyone sitting in the room began to come together over something that took place in a situation of which they did not individually agree with.



The individual will was lost. This was one of LeBon’s main ideas in his article. However, a crowd does not have to all be in one place to be effective. An example of that is shown through activists against sending our troops to Afghanistan all protesting throughout the major cities of Ontario this past Saturday (the 28th).

So the only concern that presented itself to me from LeBon’s extensive research on the mentalities of crowds is: What do we do now? Every single person is part of some crowd or the other. Whether it be against child labor with UNICEF or whether it be part of the Marxist ideology, it is inevitable that we are part of a group. So my question to you would be: Can humans survive without belonging to a group that shares a belief or ideology? Can you imagine yourself not being part of a group?

References:
LeBon, Gustav. “General Characteristics of Crowds – Psychological Law of Their Mental Utility." Introduction to Communication. Alexandre Sévigny. Iowa: Kendall/Hunt Publishing Company, 2006. 121-125.
“Gustav Le Bon: The Crowd: Preface.” 2004. The Mead Project, Brock University. 29 October 2006. < http://spartan.ac.brocku.ca/~lward/LeBon/LeBon_1895/LeBon_1895_00.html>.